Let it Go

As many of you know, I am not a writer. However, it always turns out somehow that I end up writing. Whether it’s children’s books just because there was a lack of counseling material for young people or writing a newsletter or other articles for my previous ministry, True North. God is always pushing me to express myself through word.  

Now I find myself writing again. 

When my cancer diagnosis came, we shared with Mike and Audrey and they recommended that I journal. I don’t really like to journal but I started journaling anyway. However, it was very factual and mostly about the medical portion of my journey. But my friend, Cindy, who knows me well and gets into my business spiritually because God tells her to, told me I should journal even if I was just journaling my prayers. I confessed to her I did not want to journal because once I opened that lid of emotions, everything would come out and I would not have any control anymore. How could I sort through that mess and then put it all back into the can again nice and neat?  

She told me I wouldn’t, but that God would sort it all out. 

She was right. 

Later, my friend, Barbara Ann, would show up with her guitar and we would worship together. She remembered us talking in the fall while we were doing some ensemble work together at church. I had mentioned that I had written music. She is a songwriter. I used to teach piano and voice but I’m really a songwriter. I just did these exercises for fun with my talented students. But she nudged me gently, and I knew she was speaking from the Lord. The next time she showed up with her guitar, I had penned a few words. After worship, she played a few chords and encouraged me to sing my song out loud. So I tried to wing it and record it. 

To my surprise, it flowed smoothly. O course, my voice has deteriorated since Covid, and I was fighting back tears while I pushed through the lyrics, but there was healing. Maybe the writing isn’t what heals. For me, maybe it was the music. 

In the past, my vocals and piano have always relied on others’ music and others’ words.  I sang their songs, their words. Maybe this time God is pressing me to use my own words, even if they’re songs and worship just between He and me.  

SO in the words of Elsa, “Let It Go”      

The song that came from this is “He Is My Anchor”